Comedy Talking bird prop

I'm looking for some help, i have some experience making simple props but I recently came up with a potentially good idea for my stand up comedy act that is way to technical for me, I want to encorperate a talking bird into my act, but I have zero experience in things of this nature and I have realised it won't be as simple as I first imagined having made a few attempts already using your simple everyday consumer products, so I figure it's time to go necular, it may not work as well as I imagine but I want to try it regardless so basically what I want to make a talking bird for use on stage for my comedy act, it has to appear as a taxidermied crow on a small pedistal, I need it to do a few things...

Be operated by a Small handheld fob that triggers voice pre recorded audio clips So I can simulate a back and forth conversation with my own pre recorded sound bites of varying lengths up to about 6 clips total...

Relatively portable and completely self contained including power and speaker loud enough to hear in a average sized room...

User friendly for a laymen to use and set up (power up and play type set up)

And also of course I'm willing to spend money but I don't want to break the bank, so as cheap as possible.

If anyone could suggest any options, offer advice or help of any kind it'd be truly appreciated

Thanks very much
MWest